I am awake because I had a dream. One that I'm not sure I can shake off as easily as the ones that would have no meaning.
In the dream we went for our u/s on Monday and sure enough we saw a growth in the baby and we got to see a hb... a strong one in the 150s!
Tell me that I'm not just having this dream because I want this so badly to go the way I envisioned when I got my BFP that I'm willing to let my psyche play these games.
I've been praying like I've never prayed before the last couple nights when it's just me and buttercup left. I prayed that God will show us a miracle come Monday. Maybe that's why I had this dream? Or I've even come to believe that God gives us our answers in our dreams. Is that possible? I guess it could be afterall we are talking about the almighty Father!
I just don't want to be setting myself up for a HUGE painful fall come Monday but than I don't want to NOT have hope or faith in this.
And all I can do is read everything on www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com nightly! Just so maybe I can compare to others' stories and find comfort and maybe hope.
Is there such a thing as being TOO optimistic?
Someone please tell me I'm not a total crazy minded pregnant woman! And tell me what I am feeling is all "motherly instincts".
Or just slap me and bring me back into the reality of things....... something!
Well guess that's it for my rambling..... thanks for reading!
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I think God gives us answers in our prayers. I don't think you are crazy. There is nothing wrong with being optimistic. IT CAN HAPPEN!
ReplyDeleteMi-Seon,
ReplyDeleteI am a part of the IVillage board and see you on there when you post. I too have had numerous miscarriages and my heart just breaks for you and your hubby. I had three known "missed miscarriages" with no whys or reasons. I just want to let you know that once you stop "obsessing" about being pregnant and trust me...THAT IS THE HARDEST THING EVER!!! I've been in your shoes. I started getting myself healthy...quit smoking, started walking to lose some weight. And I started drinking a nutritious drink...I swear the combination was a miracle. I now have two babies. If you want to email me....email me at kylee.pedersen@comcast.net and I will talk more with you. My username on IVillage is Johnky.