To hallmark from Heaven

To Hallmark, they brag that they have a card for everything.

Dear Mr. Hallmark, I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear A rather strange idea, I see everything from here. I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard. There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven. She is still a mother too,no matter where I reside I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she's cried. I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know That though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so. She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too, Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do? My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight. She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well. So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth She needs to be honored, and remembered too Just as the children of earth will do. Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you'll do your best I have done all I can do; to you I'll leave the rest. Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.

When knowledge becomes nervousness

So this past monday I recieved a called from the drs who re did my D&C over at FSH... they stated that they were concerned that I may still have "products of conception" left due to the pathology reports showing that the embryo had implanted deeper than that of a normal pregnancy. And needed me to get blood work. So Tuesday I went and had blood work done, waiting for the results were killer.... So today, I called the nurse and the she stated that my results came back and my hCg levels were 6. To my understanding the level would have to be under 5 in order for no pregnancy to be present. So I was alittle concerned. Than an hour ago, I had the dr paged and she called back. She said that 6 is a fine number meaning that the pregnancy has been "evacuated" and she was happy with that number. She advised me if we wanted to ttc again we need to wait one cycle.... and if we weren't going to to use some form of BC. She also stated that an endo would be good to have to follow future pregnancies. But far as diabetes now goes, I can just be followed by my primary care because she's been doing a fine job. Having the all clear and the knowledge I have of what can happen during pregnancies and after birth and such....... it scares me. I fear that my future pregnancies may end in loss and that I will never get a chance to be a mommy to an earthbound baby.... one that I can bring home after 40 weeks of carry them in my womb...... So many fears follow the current knowledge that I have. I've got apprehensions, uncertainty all lingering around in my mind. Why do things have to be so complicated , especially in my desire to be a mommy.