Bursting at the seams!!!

Okay so I'm going nuts!

I want to know how far along I am!
I want to know whether there is a heartbeat yet!
I want to know when my due date is!
I want to know all these for my peace of mind

But nost of all......
I want to know so I can start telling family. I'm bursting at the seams to tell but I am worried that something will happen from now and than and will have to recant my joyous annoucement with sadness or uncertainty again.

I just want an ultrasound! I can't believe I have to wait til after my first appt to get one :( I just really am growing impatient!


On another note,
WE went and splurged on 2 additional baby items. An outfit gift set from target and a Winnie the Pooh cribbing set from WalMart.
I keep telling myself "hope I'm not jinxing things". And "God wouldn't be so cruel to me twice in an year?".

I am being hopefuly and prayful !! I hate the sense and feeling of PAL brain! It's really hard to keep "positive" when you know the inevitable can happen because it has happened once before.
I feel like if I can get an early enough ultrasound before my first appt, I can be more at ease but what dr would order an u/s without an appt? Even if it's for my peace of mind? And plus my appt is on Tuesday so I think I can wait!

I sound so crazy I know! But that's how PAL brain works at times I guess! And this is just the beginning of things.... I can only imagine how things will be as things progress!

AHHH!!!! The insanity has started, continues and will continue!