I know!

I know I said I'd wait this out and let God take control...... but!

I want to throw in the towel!!
I feel so emotionally drained and I don't want to fight this anymore.... I want it over :( I hate the idea that I am giving up on Buttercup but I can't do it anymore!!

All I see are news of new pregnancies and it hurts me sooo freakin bad to know that I lost my chance once again!! I thought this would be my turn..... and I could bring my baby home this year but again I get cheated!!!

I give up!! I'm tired of pretending to be strong and acting like everything is okay.

My heart aches, my emotions get the best of me more often than not. And I get snappy with the wrong people....

I'm not a strong person!!!

I know there are women who have gone through more than I have and are still strong! So I feel like a damper for wanting to give up and be miserable.

Anyways I just wanted to vent.... no offense to the angel mommies who are reading- I am happy for you all because ya'll deserve this :)